I remember years ago, there were a number of sad incidents involving children getting hold of medications or other potentially dangerous substances. I also remember nefarious actors creating havoc, as bad things were put into medication bottles or food sources to do harm to innocents. Soon the “Child Proof” bottles were showing up in all sorts of forms. Seals were put on medications and food containers which to Mark, the thirty year old, was no real problem—the minor inconveniences were nothing compared to the harm they prevented.
I am not sure exactly when I began to notice that what was once “no problem” required more effort. The progression into arthritis and Long Covid has exacerbated my struggles. Between the loss of muscle strength and the pain that accompanies trying to pop open a Tylenol bottle, or coffee creamer container, has increased. Sometimes packaging is like trying to solve a Rubic’s Cube soaked in glue.
In our house it is now acceptable to call in reinforcements. Thank goodness for those rubber gripping—pads that enable elbow grease. Yes, sometimes it is a two person job to get a lid off, or the plastic wrap off an Amazon order. Bring out the pliers, scissors, and knives. Thank goodness for teeth (I know that is against the rules) but they work well when other methods fail. My least favorite is the “tear here” then “zip-lock” packages. When all else fails just get the scissors out, cut it open and find something that was not created by sadist for the extra cheese to be stored in.
Grandma Opal used to say two very distinct things to me about getting older. “Old Age is Not for Sissies” and “It’s a Good Life if you don’t Weaken”. My dad had a plaque over his recliner that had a big brass screw mounted on it, and these words were burned in the wood— “Screw the Golden Years”. I am not there yet…but the realities are showing up far too often.
Tomorrow I will hop on the RTD light rail in Lakewood. I will be assisted by my rollator. The dominant color will be orange, and the train packed. The temperature at the AFC championship game will hit 16 degrees — as a high. I will be wearing three layers—an electric hoodie, heater packs in my socks and gloves and a big orange cowboy hat with a stocking cap under it. We are playing the Patriots…66 years ago I went to my first Bronco game and we won. This geezer expects to have fun… and I have to open nothing.
Onward and Upward and GO BRONCOS,
Mark
Lyfting Me Up 