It is a common belief that it is “More Blessed to Give then to Receive”. I have found that it is also easier. Many years ago a very wise and insightful elder at the church I was serving in Pueblo said to me, “Mark, why are you so resistent to letting me give you a hug”? I had no answer in that moment, her question haunted me. It was not long after that, that I said to her “Lolita I will try to be better at letting you give me a hug”. Clearly, I learned that receiving made me feel much more vulnerable.
When I am giving, for whatever reason, I feel more in control. Over the years I have learned the gift of being a gracious and open hearted receiver. My daughter Amy and I were remembering a time when a 90 year—old woman, who was a remarkable china painter, wanted to give Amy something she had made. “Oh ma’am, I can’t take that”. We had a talk on our drive home. Amy has learned how much you honor someone when they give you something…sometimes it’s just a casual compliment.
A real gift is freely given. There are no strings attached, or expectations, just the joy of giving something for whatever reason. This past week I have found great joy in saying goodbye to a number of special “things to kids and grandkids”. All of this stuff was just sitting in drawers or boxes. It was time they found a new home. Of course, whether it was a ring, or cuff links with a beautifully mounted fishing fly, they brought smiles to the receiver, and each item came with its own story.
A bit of time passed and the lady who painted china invited me to select something I might want. My heart went to a stunning tall flower vase. In one of our moves it crashed to the floor. It was in about 10 pieces… I thought it was done. The pieces were collected in a bag, as I didn’t have the heart for the dumpster yet.
Mary Kay found someone who specialized in repairing such things. Without ever telling me what she was up to, the shards went away. A few months later it returned in remarkable condition. I know in Japan there is an art form that rebuilds broken pottery with gold inlay—Kintsugi. What was pretty is made beautiful.
Mary Kay’s gift to me made the vase twice blessed. I got to receive it twice and each time it opened me up a bit more.
Onward and Upward,
Mark
Lyfting Me Up 