Some of my stories write themselves. Others are more like trying to climb a Colorado “Fourteener”. This one in particular has taken two weeks to come together. It’s not an overly complicated narrative but it penetrates deep into one of the more painful and special journeys I have ever shared.
Brad and I and about 1,200 other undergraduate students shared our college years in the late 60’s at Phillips University. I was from Colorado and Brad from Kansas. We moved in similar circles. We shared a number of common friends and played a lot of intramurals against each other. Brad was an outstanding tennis player, a laughing, funny, smart extrovert. I remember thinking that he was one of the sharpest dressers on campus.
Over the years we were part of a smaller group name MEL. Brad was an actual “member” and I was a “friend of Mel”. What that meant was that I got invited to all the MEL-Functions. A few years ago he moved to Taos, NM. He retired there and built a retirement life that included lots of tennis and golf.
A year ago last October I got the word that he had been taken by Flight for Life to Swedish Hospital here in Denver. One day he was great and the next day he had a horrible case of Sepsis. He kept us posted on of all places— Facebook. In order to save his life, parts of all of his fingers and both of his feet had to be amputated. Yes, it’s hard to grasp. He shared his journey with his cadre of friends via Facebook and phone calls.
A few months ago I stopped in to his wonderful high desert home to spend some time with him. Before Brad’s journey I too was hospitalized, but I only lost one toe. I was almost embarrassed to even try to identify with Brad, but he in his very affable manner, put me in the circle of Sepsis survivors and its consequences.
In that first visit with Brad he told me of his Hospice Chaplain. “He’s Buddhist, and really a great listener and I like him a lot. He asked me how I was doing. I told him, ‘I am not sure, I have never died before’.” He told me that, all the while smiling and chuckling. I left his home that day feeling incredibly welcomed and uplifted. It was hard to grasp how his resilient spirit and undying optimism filled the room and my heart. He embodied the absolute best of the human/divine spirt.
My latest visit was to his “Man Cave” which is essentially his garage with a big TV. He has a cadre of friends who come to hang out, smoke cigars, share a drink, watch football, and tell stories. He lit up when we showed up. In the course of the conversation he shared this, “I go by the four Fs. Faith, Family, Friends and Fun.” Yes you do Brad!!!
I took this picture and asked for permission to share this journey. His response, “Sure”. Brad, you are loved and respected by many. On that Sunday I certainly experienced your Four F’s, as did your other friend Mark, your wife, and Mary Kay.
Before we left we had a circle of prayer. Brad’s prayer sounded like he was talking with God on the golf course. We all cried… tears of grateful hearts.
Onward and Upward,
Mark
PS—Today’s update. With Brad’s hearty endorsement there will be a MEL-Function in Taos late this spring… we will bring the party to Brad, For any of you that might be interested details will follow.
Lyfting Me Up 