I have been thinking about the words nice and kind for the last 45 years. It all started when a man who was a member at Central Christian Church in Pueblo, sported a bumper sticker that said—“Niceness is kind of Nice”. It’s a decent thought on first blush, but the problem I had with this display, was that guy was one of the meanest men I’ve ever met in church. Since that time in the early 80’s I push back from the word nice. “Oh she is so nice, they are nice, that was nice, etc.”.
I decided after this one month trip to Kauai, where I experienced more kindness than seemed possible, to do a little Googling. This is what I found. Being nice is when you are polite and treat people well. Being kind is when you show you care about people and show them so. Sometimes you can be kind to someone even though you are not nice to them, and you can certainly be nice to someone but be unkind.
Now that I have tried to make my case that I will take kindness over niceness every time, let me share about my experiences this past month, as I lived in the middle of the Pacific. The Mark that went to Kauai this time depended on the help of many others. At the top of the list was Mary Kay. I am not sure that when she spent her professional career as an RN, that she imagined she would find herself as the person who would “schlep” most of our belongings to and from wherever we went. I love certain Yiddish words and schlep is a perfect one. It is true that she was not always nice about it, but she was certainly kind. It would not be possible for me to travel without her.
I have previously shared how my Rollator has given me my mobility. Wherever I went, “Blue” was my companion. The reality of walking into a restaurant waiting line with something I refuse to call a fancy walker, has opened my eyes and my heart. People are truly kind. They ask if they can help, the staff is always more than accommodating to move a chair and allow me to sit in safety and comfort. If I happen to be using my cane, once again the kindness that I am shown is constant.
Kindness is caring. I like that. I think that one of the greatest compliments that can be offered about another is that “She cared”, “He was caring”. I believe true caring invites us to get out of ourselves. Empathy it is called. Currently, the world I live in seems to be torn between knowing how to care for others, and making sure “I get mine”.
While sitting on my lanai this past month, I got to share that space with a whole lot of feral chickens. In Kauai they are copious to say the least. There were three hens that lived in our neighborhood with their brood. To watch “the girls” care for, up to eight at a time, was inspiring. Yes, they would gather the chicks at times under their wings and it was nap time. I wanted to join them. I am not sure hens could be called kind, but they provided a Biblical metaphor used by Jesus. All the roosters did was make a whole lot of noise.
I have heard it said about our current state of the Union, that “He is like a rooster who crows and he thinks he brought on the dawn”. I know… that is not nice!!!!
Onward and Upward,
Mark
Lyfting Me Up 