On August 18, 1984, Mary Kay and I brought together four kids, two cats and our dog Smiley, to begin 40 years of marriage. Today I want to give an honest thanks to this journey we have shared. When two people start a marriage with just the two of them they create a dyad (I was a sociology major). When a captive audience (the kids) are added, the complexities of human interactions grow exponentially. There were many skeptics about the wisdom of this undertaking… for good reason. I do remember early on some well meaning cheerleader said to us “How cool, The Brady Bunch”—MK had the perfect response— “Hardly, they had a script and a maid and we have neither”.
I was 35 years old. I had been by myself for nearly six years. Matt and Amy had come to live primarily with me the year before. I had truly hit a place where I thought I might just be a single dad for a few years, if not more. Then I went on a blind date. I had a free dinner at the best restaurant in Pueblo. I thought “What the heck it won’t cost me anything”. Well, at least not up front. It has been an adventure.
I remember years ago my friend Jim quoting Groucho Marx. “Marriage is a great institution… but who wants to live in an institution”? I also remember one of my mentor/authors M. Scott Peck in the book “The Road Less Traveled”, saying “Romantic Love is what God uses to trick us into getting married. Nobody in their right mind would ever agree to negotiate their entire life with another person”. He went on to say the benefits of marriage are directly proportional to a couple’s ability to adapt to the many twists and turns of life over time.
I want to talk about the term “Blended Family”. That implies a finished product. We were and are a, “Blending Family”. There are both additions and subtractions. We have managed to add nine grandkids to the mix. And we have happily said goodbye to a ________, I will save the adjectives.
Recently I have done a lot of putting my life in perspective. Perhaps it’s because in my 75th year I had another “close call” with the BIG END— Sepsis and eight days in the hospital, followed by two weeks of IV antibiotics, and PT and OT at home. MK has been a rock star—yes Alice Cooper—you have competition. She put on her RN cap and stepped in and kept me out of a rehabilitation facility. I suspect over forty years we have taken turns being the mainstay in this marriage. I look at where my life was forty years ago and where it is now, and I am beyond grateful.
So tomorrow we will share some cake at church and head up to Steamboat Springs. I have my new “Rollater” which allows me to move about town. MK has her concentrator which provides night time O2. Here is a thought—“If you live long enough, you are going to be old”!!! I thought that all on my own. We have shared many experiences together—laughter and tears… and I would say much more on the laughter side.
Thanks Mary Kay, you have helped to make me into a better person with a blessed life.
Onward and Upward,
Mark
Lyfting Me Up 