I have invented the word that describes my current state of being. I am conflicted. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, or go full—on curmudgeon. Today I was able to drive 22 miles each way to go to an “in person” 12-step meeting. I need people. For most of my life I have lived in the midst of a swirl of living breathing folk. As a result of the massive paradigm shift that the Covid pandemic brought to the whole world, and my full—on retirement a year ago, I find myself often spending a lot of time alone.
I do find a certain amount of solitude to be renewing and helpful. My lap swimming provides an hour meditation where I am looking at the bottom of the swimming pool.
The proliferation of Zoom meetings exceeds anything that could have been predicted. I have watched 12-step meetings expand exponentially as a result of access to connections through screens. The positives are measurable. In two meetings I go to weekly, our numbers have grown significantly. We often have all four time zones represented, along with countries around the globe. This is a gift.
Now, I want to talk about what screens don’t allow. Real human contact. I was having a discussion with family members about the huge meltdown of traditional churches. This is happening for a number of reasons. I will save that discussion for another day. What I did say is that I still believe humans both want, and need, to be with each other. I love my FaceTime calls with the grandkids who live all over the place. To see their faces and talk with them is a gift. Yet, to hold them on my knee or give them a hug is THE BEST.
I have been going through adult education opportunities in my area, with the express purpose of being with people. I would probably take a course in “Noxious Weeds in Colorado” if it meant I could hang out with fellow students. There are weeks that, even in my retirement, I will have up to eight Zoom meetings. Yes, it saves time, money, gas and gets work done. No, it is NOT human contact. Today I went to a good old fashioned meeting. We sat in a circle, welcomed newcomers, laughed, listened, told stories, read literature and closed in a circle where we held hands as we prayed.
I then had coffee with a friend—in person. It was a great day.
Onward and Upward,
Mark